Cult News

“TomKat” finally made it down the aisle with a 7-month-old baby in tow.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Scientology vows were sealed with a reported 3-minute-kiss, until someone yelled, “stop,” though perhaps they might have just said, “cut.”

An Italian castle near Rome was rented out for the marital production that reportedly was budgeted at about $10 million, which is easily the going price for an independent film.

The supporting cast included David and Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony, Jim Carey and girlfriend Jenny McCarthy, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Richard Gere and a “cameo” appearance by Brooke Shields.

Shields has apparently forgiven Cruise for bashing her on national television. Scientology’s “Top Gun” used the actress as an example of what’s wrong with taking medication for depression, apparently an “unpardonable sin” for the star and his church.

Speaking of Scientologists, quite a few of Cruise’s religious brethren attended the nuptials, such as John Travolta. 

The head of Scientology’s New York City branch made the invitation list, but not Oprah Winfrey, even though she practically launched the couple on her show.

Maybe Cruise’s handlers didn’t want to remind anyone about his past performance as a “couch jumper.”

Oprah still sent a gift.

Tom Cruise chose as his “best man” Scientology’s “top dog” David Miscavige, the man who appears to be leader for life of the controversial church, which many have called a “cult.”

Reportedly some Hollywood notables were “no shows.”

Needless to say Cruise’s former employer Sumner Redstone, the man who dumped the actor from Paramount largely for talking too much about Scientology, wasn’t there.

The wedding vows, like all things Scientology, were hatched from the head of its creator L. Ron Hubbard and seemed more like stilted dialog lifted from a corny 1950s movie than a typical marriage ceremony.

During the service the Scientology minister asked the bride: “Do you take his fortune at its prime and ebb and seek with him best fortune for us all? Do you?” The bride responded: “I do.” Then the minister said: “Good then, I am sure you will and surer yet that you’ll fare well and staunchly as a wife.” To Cruise, he said: “And when she’s older do you keep her still? Do you?” He replied: “I do.” 

What’s interesting to observe in Hubbard’s version of wedding vows is the complete absence of any reference to God. And to the bride’s parents who are staunchly conservative Roman Catholics, any mention of Jesus.

Scientologists don’t believe in the bible, God or Jesus and are taught if they reach “Operating Thetan Level Three” (OT III), about “implanting,” which is done through space alien technology. Later, reportedly at OT VIII, they learn not so flattering details about how Christianity fits within that framework. 

However, Katie Holmes parents both attended the wedding and told People Magazine that they were “very happy” to be there.

And why not?

The pre-nuptial agreement reportedly negotiated in part by the father of the 27-year-old actress provides that she will receive $3 million dollars for each year that she remains “Mrs. Cruise,” plus a California mansion. And if Katie Holmes can somehow manage to make it to her 11th anniversary, she could hit the jackpot and get half of the 44-year-old actor’s entire fortune.

The bride’s parents may also be smiling because the Scientology ceremony their daughter participated in is not recognized by their church. So some day, just like Nicole Kidman the last Mrs. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes can get an annulment and still walk down the aisle the second time in a Roman Catholic Church.

It was reported that Andrea Bocelli sang Ave Maria at the reception. However, Bocelli later told the press that he did not attend the Scientology event, because of his Catholic faith.

Was the Italian tenor’s reported rendition of Ave Maria at the reception meant to be a peace offering to placate the bride’s family? 

Kidman and Cruise’s ex-girlfriend Penelope Cruz sent gifts.

No word from Mimi Rogers, the first Mrs. Cruise, who once complained that about their sex life.

What advice would these exes give the new Mrs. Cruise?

MSNBC says that the Katie Holmes should “forget about marriage counseling” if there are problems, because as Tom Cruise told Matt Lauer, psychology is a “Nazi science.”

L. Ron Hubbard, Cruise’s hero, wasn’t that successful at marriage either. He was divorced too, but unlike the actor was also accused of bigamy.

Hubbard’s first wife said she had trouble leaving him and claimed the former Sci-fi writer subdued her with a “hammerlock, causing strangulation and thus preventing any outcry” and later ran away with their baby daughter.

Let’s hope that Tom Cruise isn’t planning to follow his hero’s example if things get tough.

Hubbard’s third wife, if one questionable union is counted, Mary Sue Hubbard did time in federal prison over a Scientology-related criminal conspiracy. 

Hopefully Katie Holmes will never experience such harsh housing. 

Things don’t seem to look that promising though. When all the festivities were done in Italy the groom, his bride and “best man” reportedly flew away together.

Not exactly romantic, but maybe it is somehow spiritually fulfilling to bring the head of your church along to begin married life.

And news reports have noted that the height difference between Cruise and Holmes may be an issue for the actor, who is at least two inches shorter than his latest spouse. Apparently he was concerned enough to stage a wedding photo, which makes him look taller.

Tom Cruise is supposedly set to begin shooting a new movie with Robert Redford in January.

Katie Holmes has no reported career plans, other than of course being Mrs. Tom Cruise, which pays rather well.

Many have said that this much publicized romance and marriage is little more than a scheme to help the middle-aged actor’s career and give his public image a boost.

The Italian wedding was “branded” a “Scientology stunt.” And it was revealed that the couple had actually already “officialized” their marriage before departing for Italy while still in Los Angeles.

But can a $10 million dollar wedding somehow make Tom Cruise a hot Hollywood star again?

Despite the price tag for the production it’s unlikely to count at the box office. 

Tom Cruise may actually be morphing into something of a celebrity oddity much like Michael Jackson, another superstar that began his descent into pop culture irrelevance with a reportedly contrived Scientology marriage.

Follow-up: According to repeated media reports Katie Holmes is so unhappy with her honeymoon that she wants another one. Reportedly the bride and groom were accompanied on their honeymoon by Scientology leader and Cruise’s “best man” David Miscavige. But a spokesperson for the chairman of the controversial religion told the press, “This is so stupid. I don’t know how many times I have to say it: It is absolutely, 100 percent not true. Mr. Miscavige was not there.”