A Very Merry Unauthorized Children’s Scientology Pageant” sold out its remaining performances at New York’s Tank theater on 42nd St. reports Newsday.

For additional seating the Les Freres Corbusier theater troupe has moved the production to the much larger John Houseman Theater next door for additional performances.

The show must go on and for three more weeks it will be at the Houseman.

So if you want to see the cast of cute 8 to 12-year-old children in this comical send up about Scientology and its celebrities, such as Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley, time is running out.

The show has been well reviewed by both the Village Voice and NY Observer.

However, Scientology’s New York representative was positively “grumpy” about this production. And the nasty man even made thinly veiled threats before he even saw it.

But the would-be Grinch didn’t steal this Christmas show.

And the grumpier the old Scientology Grinch gets, the more you know something must be really good!

What an endorsement for advance ticket sales that was.

For reservations call (212) 239-6200.

And for a good holiday ho, ho see this special greeting card “Spirit of Christmas” Scientology style.

Attention all single Scientologists! There is a dating service where you can find your “soul (Thetan) mate.”

Two smitten Scientologists might even sign a joint “billion year contract,” which the controversial church allegedly uses for some of its most devoted followers. Though this could necessitate a change to the traditional wedding vow, “Till death do us part.”

The Affinity Dating Exchange run by Marcia Powell in Los Angeles “caters to people who are spiritually aware and into self improvement and is the service most used by those who are adherents of the philosophy of L. Ron Hubbard.”

For those who don’t already know, Hubbard is the founder of the Church of Scientology.

“The more people involved the better the game,” says Powell.

But is Scientology somehow linked to a con game?

A dating service called “Affinity International” in Australia apparently conned a man out of more than $200,000.00 Australian dollars. Scientology has denied any connection to the business, reports MSNBC.

But according to the Herald Sun an Australian newspaper, Affinity International dating service of Queensland “has ties to Scientology.” And the Affinity Exchange run by Powell does tout itself as an international concern.

So what’s up with this dating game amongst Scientologists anyway?

Is there a proscribed commandment etched somewhere in the Book of Hubbard for celebrities that says, “Thou shall not lay with non-Scientologist“?

Maybe there is a handbook for celebrity Scientologists that dictates your love interest must at least minimally demonstrate a serious interest in the church’s services and/or courses before marriage?

It does seem that virtually every Scientology notable is linked to another Scientologist, or at least someone that has somehow signed up for the controversial religion’s offerings.

And when that interest dissipates it may spell divorce.

Ask Kirstie Alley’s ex Parker Stevenson or according to the rumor mill Nicole Kidman and Mimi Rogers–Tom Cruise’s former wives.

Cruise’s new squeeze Penelope Cruz has signed up according to recent reports. Did she have any choice if the actress wanted to keep dating the Scientology superstar?

And does this possible rule of L. Ron also apply to questionable unions such as “Wacko Jacko,” once wed to Lisa Marie Presley?

It seems so.

When the former “King of Pop” purportedly wouldn’t pop for Scientology courses/services he got dumped.

But at least there’s still hope for Kirstie Alley. The single one-time sit-com queen can call Marcia Powell and get hooked up with another true believer.

Maybe Marcia was the matchmaker for the Travolta/Preston partnership?

Then again, if she was the marriage broker for the thrice-divorced Lisa Marie, her services may not be so good.

Come to think of it wasn’t Scientology the reported problem between Presley and her last husband Nicholas Cage?

Stay tuned, “As the [Scientology] World Turns.”

Tom Cruise is out plugging his new movie The Last Samurai, but some reports question the A-list actor’s priorities.

“It is clear that he has something else on his mind: Scientology…It’s unclear whether Cruise was asked to promote Scientology or whether he simply feels compelled to spread the word,” observed a reporter for the Chicago Sun Times.

Scientology’s biggest star and cheerleader is out relentlessly shilling and/or spinning for his religion at virtually every press junket stop on his busy schedule.

Cruise after all has quite a burden, he is it seems Scientology last superstar.

John Travolta continues to stumble from one flop movie to another, Kirstie Alley is plugging for Pier 1 and Lisa Marie Presley’s singing career didn’t exactly take off.

So Tom Terrific appears to be Scientology’s relentless “Top Gun” relied upon for press spin and essentially free advertising regarding its various programs and ongoing agenda.

A notorious “cult” has filed a federal lawsuit against the Department of Social Services (DSS) in North Carolina claiming its “religious rights” have been violated reports the Digital Courier.

Word of Faith Fellowship (WOFF), led by Jane Whaley, has been in court quite a bit this past year. But now it seems the “cult” wants to retaliate by initiating its own legal action and Whaley may be receiving advice from arguably the most litigious “cult” in the world, Scientology.

Eric Lieberman, a New York attorney that has frequently represented Scientology, reportedly has joined Jane Whaley’s legal team.

Lieberman is a seasoned trooper for Scientology in its seemingly endless litigation, used as a device to silence its critics and keep secret religious writings off the Internet.

This Scientology lawyer certainly has his work cut out for him with his new client.

During 2003 several children were removed from WOFF due to abuse. Most recently a judge ordered four children taken out of WOFF declaring it an “abusive environment” for kids. The children were placed with DSS, which had investigated repeated abuse charges against the group.

Whaley apparently thinks that the “abusive” treatment of children is somehow a “religious right.”

A spokesperson for DSS responded, “I feel like we’ve done our job in terms of policy and law and we’ll continue to do so.”

But Whaley has historically gotten her way in Spindale, a town in North Carolina where hundreds of her followers live and work. And she doesn’t like the job DSS has done on her.

Like Scientology Whaley appears intent upon using litigation as a means of retaliation against her perceived enemies.

So can veteran Scientology litigator Lieberman turn things around for Whaley?

The WOFF leader appears to be something of a public relations nightmare with quite a temper. She was recently charged for assaulting a woman that decided to ignore her edicts and leave the group.

Sounds like Whaley is a sore loser and can’t handle rejection.

Lieberman and his new client are unlikely to win friends in North Carolina by suing a social service agency. Of course the New York attorney will just pick up his check and leave town.

Scientology has purportedly turned litigation into something of a religious rite. Maybe that’s the “religious right” Whaley is really concerned about in her apparent “holy war” with DSS.

Larry King is arguably the king of the softball interview. And many celebrities prefer to appear on his show rather than face sterner questioners.

Scientologists really seem to like the CNN host, from the organization’s President Heber Jentzsch to John Travolta, both have sat in for interviews.

But when they sit down comfortably across from King, Scientologists often spill more than they would normally on another talk show. And in a recent interview Tom Cruise literally overflowed with information about the controversial church, which has been called a “cult.”

King lay back in the interview with his usual soft style and Cruise came off like an infomercial for Scientology, rattling off one related program after another.

Tom Cruise is supposedly doing the rounds to promote his latest film, The Last Samurai, but it often appears that the star is doing double duty as a Scientology spokesman.

See his Toronto Sun interview. Or note his defense of Scientology in a puff piece within USA Today.

King led into the topic of Scientology by asking about Cruise’s reported dyslexia. But the star corrected his host by flatly stating “I am not dyslexic.” Nor, Cruise claimed, was he ever really afflicted with the learning disability.

According to the actor, “When I became a Scientologist in ’86, ’87, later on discovered also L. Ron Hubbard [founder of Scientology] developed study technology that actually — to help me realize that that — you know, that the false labels that are out there.”

The actor is talking about “Applied Scholastics” and Scientology’s so-called “study tech.”

King then opened up another avenue for Cruise to promote his church, “You got involved in the toxic environment problem around Ground Zero, and you established the New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project“?

This was an opening for Tom Terrific to take off on another long singsong rhapsodizing about Scientology.

“It’s great. It’s actually — it’s based on the research. It’s — Hubbard developed it. What happens is that Hubbard developed a thing that’s based on clear body, clear mind. He figured out how to eliminate toxins from the body. And it does just that. Doctors do not know how to diagnose chemical exposures, because it can actually have mental ramifications. You know, people feeling depressed, up and down. You know, we’ve had people go through — you know, there’s one woman who doctors were going to put a steel bar in her chest because she was having trouble breathing. And how the toxins, you know, because I’ve done — I’ve gone through the detox [Scientology religious ritual called the ‘Purification Rundown‘] myself, and it gets the toxins out of the body. So that these guys that have come on and they were on — I mean, that amount of drugs that some of these guys were on. They’re no longer on these drugs. And they get on this program.”

Cruise is largely ranting about any psychiatric medications Scientology deems destructive. However, medical doctors have not only questioned the efficacy of the “detox” he cites, but also its potential risks and specifically by abandoning prescribed medications.

Cruise then tacitly admits, “It’s also something that we also use in Narcanon that helps get the drugs out of their system.”

Narconon is another Scientology spin-off supposedly designed to help drug addicts. Kirstie Alley, another Scientologist celebrity, says it saved her life. But the organization has a history of controversy.

Cruise then seems to cast himself in the role of a medical expert.

“You go to a doctor and now he’s going to put you on more and more drugs, steroids and things that are ineffective…What happens is those toxins go in, and they reside in the fat tissue, OK? And they just sit there. There’s no way of getting that out. So long-term, you’re talking about various cancers. It’s horrific,” claims the actor.

But Tom Cruise is no MD and completely unqualified to offer medical advice.

The former Top Gun spins on about Scientology’s mission at Ground Zero, which many critics labeled as little more than publicity stunt.

He says, “Friends of mine went, who were volunteer ministers. And they went down and they — volunteer ministers were working down in — at, you know, helping set up lines and giving different things in Scientology that we have, assists…Scientologists want to help people.”

Then comes his testimony about deliverance from dyslexia, a cure Cruise recommends for others.

“Now we have…this technology that [L. Ron Hubbard] developed that actually helps people to learn how to learn and discover that — you know, these — I’ve actually helped people that have been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD. And it’s extraordinary, what happens with this technology. We have centers all over the world now that help people get this technology, and it’s also in various schools and educated millions and millions and millions of people in it.”

Cruise then offers Scientology’s version of salvation.

“You know, Scientology, the word means knowing how to know. And there are tools that I use every day as an artist, as a businessman — you know, you look at it just this way. I was diagnosed being dyslexic. I came in, learned these tools, and now I — you know, I mean, my literacy is — it is where it is, and it’ll go where I want it to go with these tools. It just kind of melts barriers, breaks them down. It helps you to recognize and understand the barriers and then overcome them.”


But Cruise conveniently forgot to tell the CNN audience about Hubbard’s fantastic claim that we are all subject to the negative influence of space aliens murdered 75 million years ago, who were sent to earth by an evil galactic ruler named Xemu.

Tom has of course effectively dealt with these creatures from outer space through “auditing,” a Scientology process that can be quite expensive, but at $20 million dollars per picture Cruise can easily afford it.

King then asks his guest somewhat more critical questions.

“Why is [Scientology] so controversial?”

And then Larry uses the “F” word. Asking about a “FBI” investigation of the controversial church.

Cruise frantically starts spinning again. And he begins to sound more like a man on some Mission Impossible, than a film star promoting his latest picture.

“It’s not that controversial…[the FBI] wanted to raid their books…you’re talking decades ago…that’s all gone now.”

Actually a number of Scientologists, including the wife of L. Ron Hubbard (LRH), were indicted and served terms in federal prison.

Never mind. Tom Terrific spins on–

“It was a new religion. It’s also — there’s things that we do — you know, you have to look at — you look at the services and the things that we help. Narcanon is something that LRH developed that helps people get off drugs. And once you’re off the drugs, you don’t ever need those drugs again. And it’s the largest drug rehabilitation center in the world. You look at Crimanon that he developed and founded, which actually helps to rehabilitate criminals and used in you know — in some of the toughest prisons in South Africa, and those prisoners have never gone back to the prisons. You look at his — the moral — secular moral code that he wrote, called “The Way to Happiness,” that’s used by, you know, communities in the world all over. These things — you know, any time — where there’s ignorance about something or people don’t want to know about something, you know, it really gets back to gossip or, you know, just people don’t know something, there you have racism. There you have bigotry. And that’s where those things stem from. But when people come in and see what it is, people thank me for the things that I contribute to it and what we do. You look at our volunteer ministers and how they helped at the World Trade Center and…It’s an applied religious philosophy, is what it is. It’s a religion, but it’s something that you apply to yourself, you apply to life. There is — I mean, it’s such a wide range, from business technology to help someone run their business better, tools that you use in your life that help improve conditions. We improve conditions. And those are the things that we do. We educate people on — about the realities of drugs. And it’s — it’s an individual’s choice, you know, on things — on how you want you to live your life. What do you want from your life?

Careful Larry, as Katie Couric found out critical questions about Scientology make Mr. Cruise mad and you might be labeled a “bigot” for asking them.

King asks Cruise if he recruits for Scientology.

“Well, you know, I talk to people about it. I mean, if you know — if you know how to — I’ve actually personally educated people and helped them with the study technology, to help get them off, you know, these vicious drugs that psychiatrists so — you know, that they proselytize, you know, that they sell to people.”

Cruise recently has recruited his latest girlfriend and it’s rumored one of the richest men in Australia, during the filming of his latest movie “down under.”

Like any good Scientologist the actor denounces psychiatry. After all, Hubbard hated psychiatrists, maybe because people thought he was “crazy.”

Cruise lurches into preaching overdrive, “Psychiatry doesn’t work. You look at the things that psychiatry’s brought to society. We now are living in a time where we spend over $700 billion a year on education, psych- driven, and where are we? We have still a decline in illiteracy. We know that electroconvulsive shock therapy, you know, drugging people, OK, with these vicious drugs — when Prozac came out, it had the — you know, the biggest — I mean, in the first few months or a year, it had 14,000 complaints on that drug, yet it’s still out there. You look at Paxil, OK, that’s now banned in the United Kingdom for under 18 because of the vicious side effects of those drugs. So here we talk about things that we know — OK, if someone can’t read, we know that we can give them these tools and help them to read. And it doesn’t matter what religion you are, these things work. If you’re on drugs, we can help get you off drugs. If you’re a criminal, we can give you — there’s technology that he developed to help you not be a criminal.”

Yadah, yadah yadah and so on.

Maybe if his new movie doesn’t do so well Tom Cruise will consider launching a second career as a full-time Scientology preacher? This calling certainly seems to consume a great deal of star’s time.

The so-called “Kabbalah Centre” run by Philip and Karen Berg seems to be more concerned with retail sales and protecting its market share than spirituality.

It was recently revealed that Karen Berg tried to patent the organization’s trademark “Kabbalah Red String” worn by devotees to protect them from the “evil eye.”

However, the US Patents office wasn’t convinced and refused the request reported Smoking Gun.com.

“The Pope nor the Archbishop of Canterbury has ever attempted to trademark the crucifix,” observed The Guardian in a recent follow-up story.

The London newspaper also reported that Michael Jackson wears the red string, like his one-time friend and ardent Berg follower Madonna, to keep away “bad karma.”

Looks like the amulet failed “Wacko Jacko” big time.

But the real question is this; what is the Kabbalah Centre?

It is incorporated as a nonprofit, tax-exempted religious institution in the US, but it seems to operate more like the Berg family business.

Philip Berg once cut himself a check for more than a $1 million dollars some years ago, which effectively moved funds from the religious nonprofit he controls to his personal assets, in payment for intellectual property rights.

The Kabbalah Centre increasingly appears to be the Berg family business.

There is Philip Berg known as “The Rav,” rumored amongst his followers to be the “reincarnation of Moses,” who serves as its titular head.

Then there is Berg’s second wife Karen, the clever patent seeker that seems to run the day-to-day business concerns along with her daughter Leah from a previous marriage, who is the bookkeeper.

Philip and Karen Berg’s two sons are also in the family business, which is headquartered in Los Angeles.

Recently the Berg’s were building three homes in Beverly Hills, California. One for each son and of course another for Mr. and Mrs. Philip Berg. Madonna also bought a house in greater LA for her favorite teacher, one of the Berg’s faithful long-time retainers.

The Bergs have arguably grown quite rich from their Kabbalah Centre, hawking a retail line of books, tapes, amulets and what not to their devoted following.

The Berg product line even includes their very own “Kabbalah Water,” produced for them by a Canadian bottling company, but supposedly somehow imbued with spiritual qualities.

Despite comments from rabbis who say, “there is no such thing as Kabbalah water,” Madonna gulps it down by the gallon.

But should a supposedly religious tax-exempt charity be so brazenly concerned with its brand name?

Madonna’s spiritual teacher in London told The Guardian, “Ethics exist to be good for society. That’s great. But sometimes you don’t want to think about the world, you want to think about yourself. When you learn the Kabbalah you will learn that your real agenda – to do what you want – is actually not contradicting what is good for others.”


Maybe Madonna’s involvement is understandable within such a self-serving moral framework. After all, she once promoted herself as the “Material Girl.”

An “ironic masterpiece,” which is a “completely unauthorized look at the Church of Scientology. The production is now playing in New York City at 432 West 42nd Street, between ninth and tenth avenues.

A parody of the “spectacular life story of L. Ron Hubbard…dissected against the candy-colored backdrop of the a traditional nativity play.”

“One of the funniest and most bewildering holiday shows you will every see.”

See a cast of 8-12 year-olds portray your favorite Scientology celebrities such as former sitcom star Kirstie Alley, one-time disco diva John Travolta and of course the only remaining SS (Scientology superstar) the now middle-aged Top Gun Tom Cruise.

It certainly can’t be any worse than sitting through that stinker movie Battlefield Earth and in this production the humor is intended.

The show’s producers say it’s “based on the actual principles of Scientology and the seriously unbelievable life story of [its] founder L. Ron Hubbard.”

Tickets are still available for performances during December.

Don’t miss this opportunity to witness the saga of “one teacher, author, explorer, atomic physicist, nautical engineer, choreographer and horticulturist,” not to mention a seemingly pathological liar.

The man who supposedly has “motivated millions,” while making “some as well.”

Tickets at The Tank are only $10.00 through Smarttix, which is practically a give-away when compared to the costs of taking Scientology courses and participating in its so-called “auditing,” and probably much more entertaining.

And for any Scientologists out there, this could offer a brief respite from the “Cult of Greed” during the holiday season.

Ho, ho, ho!

Note: All quotes regarding the NYC production are from a promotional mailer sent by The Tank .

Mark Anderson was once a full-time pastor for Rev. Moon’s Unification Church in Phoenix, now he is a state senator serving in the Arizona legislature.

Controversy has surrounded Anderson historically. It seems that the senator’s legislative agenda may be more focused upon serving Moon, than the people of his district.

But Anderson’s supposedly heavenly approved leader may have bidden the legislator to work closely with another organization frequently called a “cult.”

Senator Anderson is pushing legislation that would preclude charging parents with abuse or neglect if they refuse to place or keep a child on psychiatric medication reported the .
Arizona Daily News

Anderson especially singled out the drug Ritalin, used to medicate hyperactive children as an example.

“Most of the kids who committed these Columbine-type crimes were kids on those kinds of drugs,” claimed the senator from Mesa. No study was cited to support this claim.

Anderson’s list of drugs that parent’s might withhold included anti-convulsants, which are used to treat seizures.

Another state senator strongly disagreed with his fellow Republican legislator. He said members of the Church of Scientology are pushing this legislation, because they “dislike any kind of psychiatry or psychology.”

But why would one of Rev. Moon’s faithful be so concerned about Scientology’s agenda?

Interestingly, the Moon-controlled Washington Times ran a story recently titled “Cruise line” (October 19th) about the actor Tom Cruise’s crusade against Ritalin.

“The biggest star on the planet…wants the public to know about…’the drugging of children’…needlessly prescribed…Ritalin,” breathlessly reported Rev. Moon’s daily newspaper within the US capital.

The Times story appeared just days before the Arizona Daily News report about Anderson’s efforts.

What’s up? Was this some sort of coordinated effort?

Have two of the biggest organizations called “cults” in the world today formed an alliance?

Is this part of a pragmatic series of legislative ventures and public relations ploys worked upon jointly by Scientology and the Unification Church?

Groups called “cults” typically seem to have one thing in common, the pursuit of power.

So despite their stark theological differences the Sci-fi “cult” and the self-proclaimed “messiah” from South Korea may have forged an “unholy alliance” based upon that.